RAW 695 WWE Monday Night RAW : Season 14 Episode 38

1. Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes 2. Evan Bourne vs. The Miz 3. Divas Match Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix 4. United States Championship Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger 5. Cedric The Entertainer vs. Chavo Guerrero 6. Six Man Tag Team Match Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and Big Show vs. John Cena, MVP, and Mark Henry Cedric the Entertainer arrives in a limo with the Bella Twins, three guys, a coach, generic football players, an old woman, a Rabbi performing a circumcision and a farmer with a goat. This is not a joke. Match #1: Triple H w/Shawn Michaels vs Cody Rhodes w/Ted DiBiase. H wins via DQ. Cedric the Entertainer comes out and rambles on, making fun of the wrestlers. Santino comes out being his usual idiotic self, and finally Chavo Guerrero comes out and challenges Cedric to a march. (This hurt to watch) Josh Matthews interviews The Miz. Match #2: Evan Bourne vs The Miz. Miz pins Bourne. Randy Orton tells Cody & Ted to take the rest of the night off. Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the contract signing between John Cena and Randy Orton. If Orton doesn't win he will never get another title shot against Cena. (Or at least until creative forgets that) And there's a no contact clause, so Orton has Chris Jericho & The Big Show attack Cena. Mark Henry & MVP make the save. This all leads to a 6 man tag….which immediately throws out the no contract clause. Match #3: Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix. Alicia Fox sat at ringside to watch. Beth pins Mickie. Match #4: Kofi Kingston vs Jack Swagger. Kofi wins via count out. Miz came down to steal the US Title and Swagger beats him up, then walks off with the belt. And now the contender for worst match ever…. Match #5: Guest Ref: Santino Marella: Cedric the Entertainer w/The Bella Twins vs Chavo Guerrero. Cedric wins with the help of Hornswoggle, Santino and some big dude who dressed a Cedric. They announce that the Reverend Al Sharpton will be next week's guest host. Cedric is talking to Kelly Kelly when Chris Jericho comes in and Cedric tells him he needs a breath mint. Cedric turns back to Kelly, then Big Show appears and Cedric decides to listen to him. Lillian Garcia says goodbye. (And breaking all wrestling tradition, does not get beat up on her last night with the company) Match #6: Mark Henry, MVP & John Cena vs Randy Orton, Chris Jericho & The Big Show. Jericho & Show tell Orton that if they lose the match, Orton has to face Henry, MVP & Cena in a gauntlet match, but if they win, Cena has to face Orton, Show & Jericho in a gauntlet match. Orton pins Henry.